rebecca soble

In the US, if a workman came to your house to cut a hole in a glass window for exhaust ventilation, that workman would then clean up the glass fragments left on the floor afterwards.

In the US, a workman would assume that you wanted your possessions covered with drape cloths while they were doing the work and bring them along at the start rather than wait for you to insist, go out and buy them, and then two hours after starting the work, cover your furniture.

In the US, if a workman came to your house to install some pipes through your cupboards, and had to move your cupboard contents to do the work (obviously forgetting to mention to you first that the pipe had to go in that particular place, or you would have cleared the cupboard yourself), that workman would make sure that a glass jar of honey was not balanced precariously on the top of several other things on the highest shelf to fall down on you when you opened the cupboard.  IF, by chance, this DID happen, that workman would not then, faced with a pile of glass-bits-and-honey, say “oh, no problem” with a dismissive wave of the hand and then leave it for YOU to clean up.  (No, not a single apology passed any lips.)

In the US, if a workman cut a hole in your shower surround in order to install some pipes, that workman would make sure the hole was the right size and position so that it could be filled or covered in a solid way (in other words, the workman would PLAN AHEAD), rather than cut a hole larger then necessary and then realize after the fact (because you tell him) that when you take a shower water flows through the hole to cover your bathroom floor, and then only upon your insistence that “YES, THE HOLE MUST BE COMPLETELY COVERED”, slap up some flimsy plastic (in multiple pieces!  not just one!) with silicone.

—

No, I don’t feel better.  I still have hours of cleaning ahead of me and a jerry-rigged silicone-plastic-blob to look at every time I take a shower.  And I have no honey for my tea.

I’ve started taking Turkish lessons again, but now for the first time they are private lessons (hi Aslı!) that I’m paying for as opposed to joining classes offered at school (free for English teachers if they are available at the right time, which seldom happens).  So this represents a new level of commitment for me.

One activity Aslı recommended in order to improve my writing (and, to follow, my speaking) is to keep a diary, but make it an imaginary diary so I wouldn’t feel limited by my own actual life’s events.   At the same time, I have started working on a lesson plan for my Advanced English students related to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, where they can read some of the winning entries (crazy or funny or dramatic opening lines for novels) and then try to make up some of their own, in various genres (spy thriller, romance, historical fiction, etc).   So having these two things come into my consciousness at the same time made me think that I could do the same thing for myself - instead of diary entries, I could write short fake novel openings.

So here’s my first go.  I’m posting it here without anyone else having first looked at it, so all the mistakes are mine (as well as the things that are done right).  After Aslı reviews it, I will update this entry with a followup corrected version.  The theme for this first attempt is Ramazan-film-noir.

Akşam yemeği başlamadan önce ekmeği onun getirmesini bekliyordum, ama gelmedi.  Çok zaman bekledim, o yüzden yemek soğuk oldu.  Ya yolda çok aç ve çılgın bir taksi şoförü ona çarpti (beş dakika sonra iftar başlayacaktı) ya da benden nihayet ayrılmaya karar verdi.  Her ikisi aynı derecede olabiliyordu.

Here’s what I am hoping it says, in English:

I was waiting for him to bring the bread before starting dinner, but he didn’t come.  I waited so long the food became cold.  Either a crazy starved taxi driver hit him on the street (iftar was just about to start) or he finally decided to leave me for good.  Both were equally possible.

Okay at this red-hot moment I’m a bit nervous about posting this for the whole world to read (Yuck, her Turkish sucks! the crowd hisses) but Aslı tells me it will be motivational, so here goes.  (Click.)

1  a newly-finished project.  it was so fun, I want to start another one right now.

I’ve heard news of a yarn store in Göztepe that might actually have some nice natural fibers (as opposed to most Turkish yarn stores, don’t get me started) so I’m thinking to wander by there this week.  The weather has cooled off enough to make random outside wandering not seem unbearable any longer.

2 I’ve been keeping an uneasy eye on US presidential election polls.  The numbers are disagreeably close, which then naturally leads to the intolerably painful consideration of a Republican win in November.  I think back to the New Hampshire Democratic primaries where Obama was polled to win rather strongly but ended up losing to Hillary Clinton.  The Washington Post assures us that wasn’t related to latent racism, but really the reason doesn’t matter, what does matter is who is the ultimate winner.  Since I’m living in a foreign country, I really don’t want to be further embarrassed by my country if Obama is not elected.  I saw a  poll on the net with a great interactive global map graphic which showed worldwide people support Obama by huge numbers (for example 70% Obama/20% McCain in Germany) so why is it so close at home?  I’ve temporarily lost that link but when I find it I’ll update this post.  BTW, 63 days until Election Day.

3 Simple food.  It may be related to the stomach bug I picked up this week, but I’m into simple foods these days. three super-easy recipes for you:

Yogurt-Wheat soup:  Ingredients - plain yogurt, water, salt, dried oregano, whole wheat grains (see pic below).  Cook the wheat like oatmeal (approx 2:1 water to wheat) until the grains are soft but still pleasantly chewy.  Let it cool.  Dollop some plain yogurt into a bowl, add in water until it’s a nice degree of soupy, not too thin, not too thick.  Sprinkle in salt liberally (basically you are making ayran).  Spoon in some of the cooled wheat grains and top with oregano.  Yum!

Cold carrot salad:  Ingredients - carrots, olive oil, sugar.  Grate the carrots and saute them in olive oil until soft and tasty.  Sprinkle a small amount of sugar over the carrots and stir in.  Serve cold.

Cheesy scrambled eggs:  Ingredients - eggs, feta cheese, vegetable oil.  Heat the vegetable oil (small amount) in a frying pan, crumble up the cheese and stir it into the pan, letting it melt into the oil.  Crack the eggs into the pan and stir until lightly scrambled.   Eat with sliced tomatoes (preferably a yummy heirloom variety).